Who the fuck writes a musical about cats?

I’m gonna have a bunch of people dress up as obnoxious, ferile, whiny, alley felines, and where EXTREMELY tight spandex clothing. I’ll make millions…..

That son of a bitch. And the morons who thought it was a work of art. Weber, if you weren’t stoned or drunk or in a coma when you wrote that piece of shit, expect a Grade-A-Wyslotsky-Assbeating (FDA approved!) within the next ten years.

Dick.

Learn how to use the pencil, so you can learn how to write. Write a paper to learn how to edit. Edit so you can perfect everything. Once you can perfect everything, you’re where we want you.

Oh wait, here’s a pen. There’s no eraser, so you can’t erase. How do you edit? Figure it out, we just made the damn pen. We don’t know everything.

Did you figure out that pen? Well, we’ve got this typewriter now. Got it? Here’s a plasma tv here’s a new remote control here’s a video game system here’s a laptop here’s a cd player here’s an mp3 player your fucking ipod.

Downloaded too much — out of disc space.

“Oh god. This band has sold out. They are media whores. Why did they have to becomes so mainstream. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah.”

It’s true. Many bands make the choice to get paid for what they love to do.

Is this a problem?

Weezer recently released Make Believe. The album is decent, though nowhere near Pinkerton or “Blue Album” quality. The one, EXTREMELY apparent problem with it is “Beverly Hills”. The constant, Joan Jett guitar riff, boring lyrics, and whiny backups make any true fan fear the future. Anybody who fell in love with Weezer 12 years ago knows what they are capable of, but also knows that, “hey, they’ve been around for twelve years, and they still throw one hell of a live show.”

Ok. Here’s the big “anti-radio” schpeil. Artists + radio airtime x Clear Channel = shitty music.

That’s not true. We all know it. Jimmy Eat World. A band that I have thought I hated everytime they release an album. Over time, I’ve realized that they are a great band, but the radio plays the hell out of their singles and makes me want to burn (literally) every album they have ever pressed. Chicago’s own Q101 changed their format last year to the, “on shuffle” (probably referencing iPod) style. They now play “everything alternative”.

Personally, I think this is a great idea. I don’t have to listen to three hours of Nickelback, Godsmack, Finger 11, Cold, and repetitive Sublime singles just to get to one song I really enjoy hearing. Or even sort of enjoy hearing. The only serious problem with it is new releases. Death Cab For Cutie released their new album, and Q101 picked up “Soul Meets Body” as a single. After hearing that riff and tambourine at the beginning, I never want to listen to their music again. Depeche Mode also gets tons of airtime, and it makes me feel like I’m in a low budget 80′s movie.

Finally, the “scene” kids.

I’m not talking about what I know as emo kids, I’m talking about all of the kids (and they ARE kids) who flock to the shows that I want to see, and act like they’ve been there since the dawn of time. Big bang. Scene kids. The ska scene used to be my kind of place. Everybody dancing around, having a goodtime. And then slowly, middle school kids filtered in, adopting the long shorts, baggy shirts style I used to know and love. They began to ease me out of the pits, and out of the scene.

I go to the shows now, watch the young ones running around, hating “the system”, and I miss the days of my two-tone/rudeboy ska kid youth. There are also the people who you will offhandedly mention a band to, and then BAM! You have created the biggest fan ever. I know a kid who found out about the Lawrence Arms. He now listens to 5 bands. The Lawrence Arms, Alkaline Trio, Jets to Brazil, The Falcon, and The Smoking Popes. Smoking Popes don’t fit into the mix, I just told him about them, and he now owns EVERY piece of Popes history.

There. I have ranted and raved. Elvis Costello would agree. I’m sure John Cusack would too.

the title is a partial reference to “that thing you do”.

music is a general anesthesia.

listening to music, letting it flow through you, completely puts your mind and body at ease.

stoners have it right.

listen to the jams, sway with the rhythm, and just enjoy life.

beethoven has that effect on me.

not singing it. listening to beethoven. you can feel he’s putting himself into the music. it is raw, powerful emotion. watch “beethoven lives upstairs” or “immortal beloved”, and you will cry when you hear his music. (the last line makes me sound like a bitch. refer to the myspace blog entry from february 24 to cancel the bitch out)

buddy guy has the same effect. listening to his soul, pouring it into the music we know as blues. his simple guitar and chicago streets voice make any bad experience a little bit better. listening to buddy guy is like having him there saying,

“yeah man. i know EXACTLY what you’re sayin.”

then he’d probably buy us a beer.

listen to some music. forget about petty problems like a girl that makes you crazy, or a test you’re gonna fuck up. for the most part, we’re teenagers/early twenties (here’s to you, brendan). we don’t have anything to really drag us down. let a musician take the worries from you. you’ll be better off.

-andy dubbya

I wrote this in Creative Writing my senior year of high school. I’d largely forgotten about it until Matt told me had kept a copy of it. It was part of some exercise in focusing in on one particular moment.. One fluid motion or something like that. I don’t remember the title. Anyways. After reading it two years after the fact, I realize it’s garbage, but see if you can figure out what I’m talking about.

I tend to write pretty lighthearted poems, so don’t think too hard.

Comment with your answers.

The Beginning of the End

my eyes open up
like they’ve never been used before
darkness blankets the room
as a heavy sigh escapes me

images come back into focus
the buzzsaw cuts through my ears
sounding the death knell
of my colorful dreams

the sound cuts through the air
like a siren in a storm
or a monster in the dark
with an angry roar

in defiance of the beast
i bring my hand down
smothering it
silencing its screams

Actually, this really was going to be a top five list of my favorite Doors songs, but when searching for some Doors pictures on Google images, I came across this startling photograph.

It’s Evan at Père Lachaise paying his respects to his idol, the Lizard King! Seriously! Look at those authentic French people! To paraphrase ol’ Jim, ‘Love Him Madly’, don’t ya buddy?