In God We Trust

I’ve been overseas ladies and gentlemen.  And they taught me what is national identity.  Yes, they’ve got their green efforts, anti-military stances and personal politician-citizen relationships.  Yes, we have our love for braindead locomotives, assembly-lining paper, greasing gears with the last drop in the can and allowing the wolf-crier to make personal decisions.

But did you know we have something even more special than that?  Our teeth.  Yes – yes girls and boys, our teeth!  It’s cos we have teeth groomers!  All that flouride in the water, you can bleach, you can cap, you can gap, you can straighten and pull!  We take this seriously, America.  We have superior teeth – now isn’t that something to be proud of? 

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