I’ve…been to a lot of shows. All types of music and venues, shapes a sizes. I got lucky and have a very musically inclined family who never objected to me tagging along to see a little live music. Then I got a car and insight into the intricate workings of the Chicago L system, and the rest is history. When you experience something enough, it becomes stale. I still love going to see bands play but I rarely walk out onto the puke stained sidewalk still buzzing, wondering if I’m shivering from she cold or the lingering ecstasy of what I just witnessed.

Seeing the Decemberists was a revival of that good ole feeling for me. What can I say- I laughed, I cried, I screamed LA-DI-DA-DI-DA-DI-DA-DI-DA-DI-DA like it was a battle hymn and I danced as if I didn’t look like a total fool. Going to a show was an experience again and I thank Clarissa for a fabulous birthday present.

And now-a topic…

Lou Reed-
“There she goes again
She’s out on the streets again
She’s down on her knees, my friend
But you know she’ll never ask you please again”

Jim Morrison
“Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire”

Both AMAZING artists.
Both huge influences on music.
Both referred to as the “American Poet” on merchandise.
Both utilizers of the ‘Rhyme A Word With Itself’ rhyme scheme.

DISCUSSSSSSSSSSSS

I recently paid to have myself stabbed repeatedly, permanently expressing my gratitude to a band that I can sincerely say saved my life more than once. The Lawrence Arms have released six full length albums and I have loved each one in turn. They are a band that I cannot imagine any person who enjoys punk or rock or punk rock not liking, because they recreate themselves with each CD the put out.

The first song I can remember listening to by my boys is ‘Nebraska,’ off a benefit compilation for a very sick little kid. I would play it almost daily while walking home from middle school and, although they were addressing an anonymous Mike, I couldn‘t help but think maybe it was me Chris was imploring to ‘please don’t hate yourself.’ And I tried. For that voice I would try anything.

It wasn’t long after that Adam handed me Apathy And Exhaustion, their third release. It was an album of the most beautiful poetry I’d ever heard. I cannot tell you how many times I played that CD. In the years when I first found out what razors were for I also found words that could stay even the most determined of hands. ‘Brickwall Views’ opened my eyes, and ‘Abracadaver’ taught me to “use your mind over matter, til’ there’s nothing the matter.” With every song there was a connection I couldn’t explain. Their voices were my lovers in sadness, and no matter how hard I cried they stayed at my side… and I sang with them.

A Guided Tour Of Chicago, The Lawrence Arms’ first album and the only one that reflects Brendan’s old political fury, was an anthem for the early days of my political roots. The summer after sophomore year I fell for Ghost Stories like a kid sitting up scared in the dark. I could scream along to ‘Turnstyles’ and feel secure in my loneliness. Everything got burned out of existence when I played that album loud enough, as if it’s raw sound was enough to negate every regret , every inadequacy I possessed.

In 2003 the Greatest Story Ever Told was released and I fought my brothers for the right to purchase it. Perhaps the most quotable album in the history of away messages I dare you to claim “this is my exit…I stom out STAGE LEFT” hasn’t appeared on your buddy list at least once. Words cannot describe how deeply each song touched me. My first listen to Greatest Story marked the beginning one of the worst periods of my life at the end of which I was physically alive, but emotionally crippled. It was the same album, one year later, that made me remember what I loved about music. I had forgotten what it was like to really feel anything, but there was that connection again. I had ‘Hesitation Station’ to feed my anger and help me to grow again, and The Disaster March to remind me “Ugly is ugly, transformation is a dream, so love what you are not what you would like to be.” I loved not just the voices, not just the words but even the instrumentation made me want to sing and dance and lay on my bedroom floor and fucking feel okay again.

When Oh! Calcutta! Came out, I was preoccupied. I gave it a listen and went back to my nervousness. But it waited patiently for me, and when the worst happened, the songs were there. I received six confirmations of my absolute failure over spring break my senior year of high school. In the days following, Brendan, Chris, and Neil played solely to cover my screaming, hysterical breakdowns. When everyone else gave half-assed “it’ll be alrights” they gave me unrestricted sound and understanding. They rode with me as I disappeared for days, they screamed along as I curled into a fetal position for hours- never complaining at having to play the same songs and hear the same sobbing, never claiming I was overreacting. The words were so oddly perfect, each song telling me to “to just forget all the regrets that keep haunting you, they aren’t worth your time.” With them, I remembered to breathe.

Every time I felt like I wasn’t worth a kind word from anyone I knew, there were three people waiting to know how it feels. I don’t know where I would be without them. I love them, they love me, and it is the only love I will ever really trust.

My top ten-in no particular order

Light Breathing (Me And Martha Plimpton In A Fancy Elevator – Ghost Stories
Your Gravest Words -Apathy And Exhaustion
Fireflies – The Greatest Story Ever Told
Recovering The Opposable Thumb – Oh! Calcutta!
Intransit – Cocktails And Dreams
The Disaster March – The Greatest Story Ever Told (m4a)
Brickwall Views – Apathy And Exhaustion
A Toast – Cocktails And Dreams
Turnstiles – Ghost Stories
Alert The Audience! – The Greatest Story Ever Told

Eve 6 pulled me through some tough times once.

I’d love to say it was something classic like Journey or Elton John or Queen. Or something more obscure but equally predictable like the Smiths or Rilo Kiley or some Joni Mitchell b-side. But it’s Eve 6. The band with the ultimate prom song in “Here’s To The Night.” The band who toured with Good Charlotte. That’s them.

And were the only thing keeping me hanging on for awhile.

They have a song called “Girlfriend” on their last album, “It’s All In Your Head.” It’s a fun rock record with some awesome tunes, but this song was written specifically for the situation I was in. It doesn’t matter that it was written specifically for every single guy dealing with being dumped–at that point in time, it was mine.

I had been dumped. No, not just dumped–completely worked over. Fucked six ways from Sunday is I think my favorite euphamism for it. Completely crushed by this girl, but the damage was completely irreparable. I couldn’t get over her. It was tearing me apart, and I was in a very bad way. Then I pulled this CD off the shelf for some background music and this song came on. I stopped whatever unimportant menial task I was undoubtedly doing, and just let it hit me. And Max Collins, bless his heart, was exactly right. He knew what I was going through, and he was telling me exactly what I needed to hear.

“For every tear a lesson learned/And every good time golden/I know it’s time to let you go/But I will not be broken.”

And he was right. I had learned from the experience. And there had been some good times. I had to let her go, but god dammit, I would not be broken.

I cried for probably an hour after the first time I heard that song.

But I went back, and I listened to that song four or five times a day for at least a week. After two weeks, I was completely over it. Like, over it to the point I hadn’t believed I could be. Not only that, but that same month I found out two of my friends had been through nearly the exact same thing–different girl, different situation, same song.

So the point I’m really trying to make here is, sometimes the popular pseudo-emo kids with bad hair get things right. Like, extremely right. And that is why I have never been ashamed of what I like.

And it’s okay.

Not fantastic. “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” featuring Marion Raven is a power ballad in the fashion that only Meat Loaf can truly pull off. It’s a solid song–definitely better than “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That),” and not just because it’s roughly half the length. And it’s as overblown as anyone could ask for, with an epic hook and powerhouse vocals all around. But something is missing.

Oh wait….the balls.

“Bat Out Of Hell,” at least for me, is a swaggering, strutting, rock and rolling monster of an album. And, for the first single from an album called “The Monster Is Loose,” this is fairly nonmonstrous. Hopefully this is just the ballad, and the best is yet to come.

In news that should not surprise to anyone who’s been following Jay-Z’s “retirement,” his first solo album in three years, Kingdom Come, is slated for release on November 21. Hov’s comeback has been just about the worst-kept secret in the industry over the past several weeks. When he announced his retirement three years ago with the release of The Black Album believed it was the end of Jay’s recording career.

…Some of his loosed-lipped friends — including Timbaland, Pharrell Williams and Kanye West — started to let the cat out the bag weeks ago, saying they were involved in the project. Hov confirms to the mag that those three producers all have tracks on the LP; Dr. Dre and Coldplay’s Chris Martin are also involved. The first single is reportedly called “Show Me What You Got.” Hype Williams has already said in interviews he’s directing the song’s video.

Anybody else is as excited about this as I am? Chris Martin producing? A Dre beat?! Pretty interesting. I wonder if there is going to be any guest spots or is it going to be a purely solo effort like The Black Album.