Let me tell you what it’s like to be in love with three men and a sound…

I recently paid to have myself stabbed repeatedly, permanently expressing my gratitude to a band that I can sincerely say saved my life more than once. The Lawrence Arms have released six full length albums and I have loved each one in turn. They are a band that I cannot imagine any person who enjoys punk or rock or punk rock not liking, because they recreate themselves with each CD the put out.

The first song I can remember listening to by my boys is ‘Nebraska,’ off a benefit compilation for a very sick little kid. I would play it almost daily while walking home from middle school and, although they were addressing an anonymous Mike, I couldn‘t help but think maybe it was me Chris was imploring to ‘please don’t hate yourself.’ And I tried. For that voice I would try anything.

It wasn’t long after that Adam handed me Apathy And Exhaustion, their third release. It was an album of the most beautiful poetry I’d ever heard. I cannot tell you how many times I played that CD. In the years when I first found out what razors were for I also found words that could stay even the most determined of hands. ‘Brickwall Views’ opened my eyes, and ‘Abracadaver’ taught me to “use your mind over matter, til’ there’s nothing the matter.” With every song there was a connection I couldn’t explain. Their voices were my lovers in sadness, and no matter how hard I cried they stayed at my side… and I sang with them.

A Guided Tour Of Chicago, The Lawrence Arms’ first album and the only one that reflects Brendan’s old political fury, was an anthem for the early days of my political roots. The summer after sophomore year I fell for Ghost Stories like a kid sitting up scared in the dark. I could scream along to ‘Turnstyles’ and feel secure in my loneliness. Everything got burned out of existence when I played that album loud enough, as if it’s raw sound was enough to negate every regret , every inadequacy I possessed.

In 2003 the Greatest Story Ever Told was released and I fought my brothers for the right to purchase it. Perhaps the most quotable album in the history of away messages I dare you to claim “this is my exit…I stom out STAGE LEFT” hasn’t appeared on your buddy list at least once. Words cannot describe how deeply each song touched me. My first listen to Greatest Story marked the beginning one of the worst periods of my life at the end of which I was physically alive, but emotionally crippled. It was the same album, one year later, that made me remember what I loved about music. I had forgotten what it was like to really feel anything, but there was that connection again. I had ‘Hesitation Station’ to feed my anger and help me to grow again, and The Disaster March to remind me “Ugly is ugly, transformation is a dream, so love what you are not what you would like to be.” I loved not just the voices, not just the words but even the instrumentation made me want to sing and dance and lay on my bedroom floor and fucking feel okay again.

When Oh! Calcutta! Came out, I was preoccupied. I gave it a listen and went back to my nervousness. But it waited patiently for me, and when the worst happened, the songs were there. I received six confirmations of my absolute failure over spring break my senior year of high school. In the days following, Brendan, Chris, and Neil played solely to cover my screaming, hysterical breakdowns. When everyone else gave half-assed “it’ll be alrights” they gave me unrestricted sound and understanding. They rode with me as I disappeared for days, they screamed along as I curled into a fetal position for hours- never complaining at having to play the same songs and hear the same sobbing, never claiming I was overreacting. The words were so oddly perfect, each song telling me to “to just forget all the regrets that keep haunting you, they aren’t worth your time.” With them, I remembered to breathe.

Every time I felt like I wasn’t worth a kind word from anyone I knew, there were three people waiting to know how it feels. I don’t know where I would be without them. I love them, they love me, and it is the only love I will ever really trust.

My top ten-in no particular order

Light Breathing (Me And Martha Plimpton In A Fancy Elevator – Ghost Stories
Your Gravest Words -Apathy And Exhaustion
Fireflies – The Greatest Story Ever Told
Recovering The Opposable Thumb – Oh! Calcutta!
Intransit – Cocktails And Dreams
The Disaster March – The Greatest Story Ever Told (m4a)
Brickwall Views – Apathy And Exhaustion
A Toast – Cocktails And Dreams
Turnstiles – Ghost Stories
Alert The Audience! – The Greatest Story Ever Told

Music saves lives, sometimes. Not always–usually it’s not that drastic. But once in awhile, the most cheesy, cliche’d song in the world is the only thing that helps. And you hate to admit that it helped, because it’s so trite and predictable. But you can’t deny it either, so you just avoid the topic all together.

Eve 6 pulled me through some tough times once.

I’d love to say it was something classic like Journey or Elton John or Queen. Or something more obscure but equally predictable like the Smiths or Rilo Kiley or some Joni Mitchell b-side. But it’s Eve 6. The band with the ultimate prom song in “Here’s To The Night.” The band who toured with Good Charlotte. That’s them.

And were the only thing keeping me hanging on for awhile.

They have a song called “Girlfriend” on their last album, “It’s All In Your Head.” It’s a fun rock record with some awesome tunes, but this song was written specifically for the situation I was in. It doesn’t matter that it was written specifically for every single guy dealing with being dumped–at that point in time, it was mine.

I had been dumped. No, not just dumped–completely worked over. Fucked six ways from Sunday is I think my favorite euphamism for it. Completely crushed by this girl, but the damage was completely irreparable. I couldn’t get over her. It was tearing me apart, and I was in a very bad way. Then I pulled this CD off the shelf for some background music and this song came on. I stopped whatever unimportant menial task I was undoubtedly doing, and just let it hit me. And Max Collins, bless his heart, was exactly right. He knew what I was going through, and he was telling me exactly what I needed to hear.

“For every tear a lesson learned/And every good time golden/I know it’s time to let you go/But I will not be broken.”

And he was right. I had learned from the experience. And there had been some good times. I had to let her go, but god dammit, I would not be broken.

I cried for probably an hour after the first time I heard that song.

But I went back, and I listened to that song four or five times a day for at least a week. After two weeks, I was completely over it. Like, over it to the point I hadn’t believed I could be. Not only that, but that same month I found out two of my friends had been through nearly the exact same thing–different girl, different situation, same song.

So the point I’m really trying to make here is, sometimes the popular pseudo-emo kids with bad hair get things right. Like, extremely right. And that is why I have never been ashamed of what I like.

Meat Loaf and Jim Steinman’s epic collaborative debut, “Bat Out Of Hell,” is my third favorite album of all time. The followup (released a mere 16 years later), “Bat Out Of Hell II: Back Into Hell” is a decent album with some absolutely killer songs. Since I started hearing rumors of a “Bat Out Of Hell III,” I’ve been frantically searching for any information possible. And now we have the first single from, arguably, the most anticipated album of my lifetime.

And it’s okay.

Not fantastic. “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” featuring Marion Raven is a power ballad in the fashion that only Meat Loaf can truly pull off. It’s a solid song–definitely better than “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That),” and not just because it’s roughly half the length. And it’s as overblown as anyone could ask for, with an epic hook and powerhouse vocals all around. But something is missing.

Oh wait….the balls.

“Bat Out Of Hell,” at least for me, is a swaggering, strutting, rock and rolling monster of an album. And, for the first single from an album called “The Monster Is Loose,” this is fairly nonmonstrous. Hopefully this is just the ballad, and the best is yet to come.

This was reported on various news outlets this morning… this particular report pulled from MTV.com.

In news that should not surprise to anyone who’s been following Jay-Z’s “retirement,” his first solo album in three years, Kingdom Come, is slated for release on November 21. Hov’s comeback has been just about the worst-kept secret in the industry over the past several weeks. When he announced his retirement three years ago with the release of The Black Album believed it was the end of Jay’s recording career.

…Some of his loosed-lipped friends — including Timbaland, Pharrell Williams and Kanye West — started to let the cat out the bag weeks ago, saying they were involved in the project. Hov confirms to the mag that those three producers all have tracks on the LP; Dr. Dre and Coldplay’s Chris Martin are also involved. The first single is reportedly called “Show Me What You Got.” Hype Williams has already said in interviews he’s directing the song’s video.

Anybody else is as excited about this as I am? Chris Martin producing? A Dre beat?! Pretty interesting. I wonder if there is going to be any guest spots or is it going to be a purely solo effort like The Black Album.

Spinning an advance of Sean Lennon’s Friendly Fire. Such a pleasant listen. Pick it up when it hits stores September 26th, or shoot over to his myspace to hear the single ‘Dead Meat’. Fans of indie rock, Jon Brion produced stuff and even The Beatles will dig it.

I’ve been getting a pretty steady influx of new tunes lately, and I feel compelled to share one of my newest finds with you all lately. I may be a little late in the game for this, but one I can’t seem to stop listening to is Nashville, Tennessee’s be your own PET.

The band, fronted by 19 year old Jemina Pearl (none of the other band members are older than 18) have risen from the Nashville local scene, attracting attention from Sonic Youth’s Thurston Moore, who signed them to his Ecstatic Peace label. They’ve also played major festivals this year – Bonnaroo and Lollapalooza, to name a few.

Their spazzy blasts of punk have drawn comparisons to the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s, and while the comparisons can be heard in the similarities in Pearl’s and Karen O’s voices, the buck stops there. There’s an immediacy to BYOP’s music that the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s havent quite harnessed.