Up to the Plate – Chicago Magazine – May 2008 – Chicago

A recent explanation of a dream by a friend caused me to realize that I no longer consciously remember my own. I believe that we can only appreciate the good things in this world because of the fact that we have bad things to compare them to. I started to think about the application of this idea to every day life and the way I perceive my place in it. I don’t have a firm grasp on my intentions or motivations but I do have a good sense of how I feel internally. Recently I’ve felt somewhat out of place, misdirected, or just .outside of my head. I’m toying with the idea that because I no longer remember my dreams, I in turn have trouble grasping onto how real reality is. I have no unconscious state to compare my coherent thoughts to. I’m not positive as to how much my conscious and my unconscious affect my dreams, but I do know that my bearing on reality is directly affected by how unreal my conscious is. The line seems to be blurred lately, and I blame that on the lack of appreciation I have for the reality I’m surrounded by. Anything that alters my mind in a way that is anything but the “uge” becomes more appealing as time wares on.

Anything that takes me away from reality seems to better establish where I was before I left. What is wrong with the idea of misguided direction. What good is direction if you have no idea where it’s taking you?

If you are anyone who’s had any sort of contact with me in the last year and a half, I’ve likely made mention about some long, helpful period of self-discovery I’ve been on due to a bunch of life altering events. Okay, so some of this is true, but I can’t help but believe that a lot of it coincided with something that everyone my age has experienced or is just about to.

I’m twenty one years old now. Three years into college. It’s pretty weird. This past new years, I remarked to some friends that this decade is almost over. It’s so strange to think about, but then I look at some video tapes my friends and I had made at the turn of the century, and then think about how long ago that actually was. I remember the groundless idealism we all had, and how things just seemed so free and open ended. It’s crazy how life has dragged some of us down, brought us to levels that we never thought we’d hit, or maybe in some cases, really didn’t change us at all.

I think about the time you hit twenty, you hit what I’ve been calling the “Not-Quite-Quarter-Life Crisis”. Things that used to be interesting don’t really seem to matter as much as they used to. Activities that may have been fun a year or two before now just feel like a waste of time. It’s not so much the quantity of friends you have but more the quality – and I think a lot of people have trouble with that. I did. I’m incredibly lucky that I escaped a lot of the trappings people my age have fallen victim to, but at the same time, I’ve encountered my own unique set of road blocks.

The “Not-Quite-Quarter-Life Crisis” – I’ve basically put it as, “you want to change the world, but have little patience to do it.” That’s okay. You’ll eventually get to the point where you realize these things take time, and then you’re able to see things clearer.

I recently went to a party that blew my mind. Many of the people I talked to – mostly old friends – have moved out of their parents homes, gotten great internships/jobs, plan to marry soon, and even have children. I’m just in awe that we’re at that point now.

All the bullshit has melted away.

We’ve arrived. My generation has finally reached adulthood.

I still don’t have a lot of money or my own place, but I’m getting there. All of my adolescent anxieties have seemed to melt away and I’ve got a confidence I really didn’t have before. I’m still young and have a lot going for me, and I’m very grateful for that.

This stage of life is revelatory. I’m still trying to make the right adjustments, but when it really comes down to it – I’m free to do whatever from here. It’s a power I’m sort of uneasy about handling, but at the same time, it’s a responsibility I’m strangely ready for.

I just had a cigarrette and flipped on the television. It was about half way through an episode of “the first 48″ a documentary on murder detectives, or crime scene investigators.(I’m not sure which one.) Anyway, one of the main charactors was called in to the office to interview a possible witness to a murder case. They cut to footage of the detective cancelling and appointment for a double manacure and pedicure. She then bitched because of the strenuous demands of her job and the sacrifices shes made. This instance happened to be a double because of the combines manacure and pedicure. I can’t under stand how anyone could be so vain. I mean I can grasp the concept, but you’d think at least the t.v producers would be with it enough to cut that shit out of the final cut of the episode. How can anyone videotaped saying those words, in that situations live with themself? I’m pretty sure that witness gave them the information they needed to catch the killer. The day was still not a sucess though, because her nails hadn’t be done. “bitch”

A story accompanied by a completely unrelated thought

I’ve…been to a lot of shows. All types of music and venues, shapes a sizes. I got lucky and have a very musically inclined family who never objected to me tagging along to see a little live music. Then I got a car and insight into the intricate workings of the Chicago L system, and the rest is history. When you experience something enough, it becomes stale. I still love going to see bands play but I rarely walk out onto the puke stained sidewalk still buzzing, wondering if I’m shivering from she cold or the lingering ecstasy of what I just witnessed.

Seeing the Decemberists was a revival of that good ole feeling for me. What can I say- I laughed, I cried, I screamed LA-DI-DA-DI-DA-DI-DA-DI-DA-DI-DA like it was a battle hymn and I danced as if I didn’t look like a total fool. Going to a show was an experience again and I thank Clarissa for a fabulous birthday present.

And now-a topic…

Lou Reed-
“There she goes again
She’s out on the streets again
She’s down on her knees, my friend
But you know she’ll never ask you please again”

Jim Morrison
“Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire”

Both AMAZING artists.
Both huge influences on music.
Both referred to as the “American Poet” on merchandise.
Both utilizers of the ‘Rhyme A Word With Itself’ rhyme scheme.

DISCUSSSSSSSSSSSS

Five or six years ago, we were begging for a band that wrote their own tunes and didn’t sound like someone farting into a microphone. Now we’ve got them, and we’re all still bitching.

It’s refreshing to see that a whole bunch of rock bands nowadays are making concept records and double albums. These bands grew up with these pieces of art that mean something and require dedication as a listener. Now they’re doing it for themselves. In my seven years as a serious music listener, I’ve never seen anything really like it. With iTunes and all these other downloading services (okay, and pirating), the album the way we know it may not make it much longer. If that’s the case, it’s nice to know it’s going to go down in a blaze of glory.

Anyways, after reading the comments on the Goodie Bag from a few weeks ago, I felt I had more to say then what I was posting.

Take My Chemical Romance for instance. Maybe it’s that they are an ‘emo’ band. Maybe it’s because Gerard doesn’t have the greatest voice. Or maybe it’s my favorite, that they just “suck”. When Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge blew up two years ago, the band was finally financially capable of recording an album that was derivative of their influences. I’m not talking about the modern ones that shaped their early sound. I’m talking about the Pink Floyd’s and the Queen’s they grew up listening to.

The result? The bombastic, dramatic The Black Parade, an album that rocks just as hard as those band’s classics did thirty years ago.

What’s this band guilty of? Other than being a little more melodramatic than they need to be, nothing. Think about it, did those classic rock bands you grew up listening to strive to make music to change the lives of yours and your parents? Probably not. They were just trying to make the best music possible. Were these bands theatrical? Absolutely. Look at The Wall and anything Queen did. For fuck’s sake, their most well known record is called A Night at the Opera. MCR shares all these qualities.

The internet is so powerful when it comes to our music listening habits. I frequent probably a half dozen music blogs daily, trying to find new sounds. It can be a great resource, but it’s also narrowed our view on what’s out there. Every band has a category it fits in. I don’t really think that this was so influential thirty years ago than it is now. What ‘label’ did Queen hand Floyd have back in the day? ‘Prog rock?’ ‘Heavy Metal?’ Not likely. This is just something some dude at the All Music Guide got carried away with a dozen or so years ago. Now that we hear that something sounds like a ‘hardcore’ group or ‘sounds sort of emo-ish”, it turns us off. We’re probably missing out on something good just because of these small descriptive words.

I’m not saying that you need to like the new My Chemical Romance record. I’m not saying you need to listen to hardcore or emo bands. I’m completely guilty of lambasting these types of bands, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t given them a shot before. Mainstream music was so bad a few years ago. If you don’t like something the first time, give it a second listen. You may discover there’s more there than what you realized.