Crayzee Tayztee Layzeez 4/27/08

If it wasn’t already a part of your Sunday schedule, it will be now. ayvee’s podcast has reached critical mass. This week, the man with the ‘p’ in his middle name spins some spankin’ new tracks, bangin’ remixes, 80’s radio faves and tossing in a few pre release tunes to complete the perfect recipe. Sit back or throw this on the digital music player of your choice and enjoy Crayzee Tayztee Layzeez for 4/27/08.

As usual, you can click below to listen, download, or even check out the archive in the ‘podcast’ bar above.


The Rundown

(intro) … Jay-Z – Hola Hovito (Instrumental provided by Timbaland)
The Breeders – Bang On
Santogold – Shove It
Kelis – Game Show
Nas – Be A Ni**** Too
No Age – Things I Did When I Was Dead
Spoon – Don’t You Evah (Diplo Mix)
Genesis – Man On The Corner
The Moments – My Thing
Quiet Village – Circus Of Horror
(recap)…Robert Mellin, Gian-Piero Reverberi – Main Theme to Adventures of Robinson Crusoe
Au – 4. RR vs. D. (?)
EPMD – Let The Funk Flow
My Morning Jacket – Librarian
Kool & The Gang – You Don’t Have To Change
Atlas Sound – Valley of the Saroos (Joe Meek Cover)
Trost – Even Sparrows Don’t Like To Stay
El Guincho – Antillas

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After Life

“Go to hell,” she told me.

We never married. Fortunately, it couldn’t have ended much better, those being the last words spoken in our relationship. She walked away having made her peace. I remained emotionally unscathed. The fact is, I don’t believe in hell. There isn’t one to speak of. On that note, there isn’t a heaven, either. It’s all still in the making, but waiting to be undone. True, what I’ve postulated is based solely on personal theorizing, but I deem it to be true and have for most of my life. This is the story of heaven, hell, and the Man who tried to make them.

In the beginning. . .

God wanted living things to play with. We all do. That’s why people own dogs and house plants. He planned carefully and devised a method to cook up some humans. Using the Universe (the only thing more omnipresent than God Himself) as His eternal canvass, God made elements to make matter, to make space dust, to make planets and suns, to make solar systems, to make the Earth, to make amoebas and dinosaurs, finally resulting in man.

I need to back up a bit. Somewhere between dust and planets, God made heaven. It was a glorious holding chamber for all things not living, furnished with tennis courts, waterfalls, spiced rum, and everything else He had yet to create for His living planet-to-be-named-later. A work of true artistry, God thought. More accurately, it was true chemistry. God was (and still is) a chemist—a damn good one, at that. Sadly, however, as most science projects go, the first experiment was a failure. Heaven broke.

“God!” He yelled, taking His own name in vain. He yelled so loudly that a Big Bang erupted from the nothing He’d built, sending the dust and matter into motion. Before He could stop it, everything happened. Planets, suns, solar systems, Earth, amoebas, dinosaurs, and man. Beyond His will we were here, but with nowhere to go when we were done.

With no other recourse, God had to end it all so He could start over with a new heaven. I find this admirable. How upsetting would it be to know God is a quitter? A holy holocaust was out of the question. This is God, after all, and murder is a sin. So instead He made man intelligent. He gave him the tools and the mental capacity to bring it all down, with the eventual goal of wiping the slate clean.

And so the slow destruction to reconstruction process began. God cracked his knuckles. . .

And then lifted man up so he could Fall. Adam and Eve, His first play things, ate some fruit that was planted for them, but it was wrong to do so. Now man had sin.

And then His only Son was nailed to a lower-case t because the neighbors didn’t like him. This upset God, but at least the plan was working.

And then man declined. The ages were so dark that no one made progress or drew pictures worth saving.

And then He brewed a disease that plagued the knights and farmers and peasants of olde. It killed many men, but the Earth kept turning.

And then God gave man gunpowder so he could blow up all the people he didn’t like. The POWS! and KABOOMS! weren’t big enough, though.

And then millions of Jews died when God watched a mustached man believe in hate.

And then He allowed some imbalanced men to fly jet planes into two tall buildings. This led to war. Many have died.

And then God let my mother have cancer. In her hospital coffin, she said to me, “I’ll see you in heaven, Rory Cleveland.” Though grief-stricken, I knew she was wrong.

And all along the way, God made us very good at using chemicals, ignorance, bombs, hate, and fear.

It’s all been very effective thus far. There’s plenty of disease and war going around for everybody. Scientists say our planet is boiling over. The Bomb has gotten so small and so powerful that we don’t even see it anymore. It’s all crumbling. Just look around. Despite all this, I can’t help but think to myself (and I know it’s grim): You’re doing a great job, Buddy.

At this point one might begin to wonder, What happens when people die, then? A valid question. The answer: Nothing. Though I have no experience in the arena, I imagine death to be very similar to life, only you don’t have to think or be. It’s very relaxing. Unfortunately, if this doesn’t appeal to you then you’ll just have to wait until God pulls your card the next time He creates the Earth. It should have a Heaven by then.

So, based on this outlook, I’ve never been offended by someone telling me to “go to hell”, nor have I found comfort in the prospect of going to heaven. Quite to the contrary, amidst watching man destroy the Earth by God’s will, the most chilling and poignant phrase any person can debase me with is simply, “Look around.”
Read more Rory at

Oh, so that mannish voice…is…a man??

Antony Hegarty – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Let me preface this with a brief statement in defense of my lacking  awareness of music news/collaborations/history etc.  I once had a heated discussion with some prick about the Wailers singing with Ziggy Marley instead of the Melody Makers.  In my booze-induced state I argued that they also sang with Ziggy (I still can see this cd I took from my mom in elementary school that contained this music, but I was an experimental child from a young age, so my memories are all…fatal, more fatal than your average go-getter’s memories) until I had to google it with him standing behind me to gloat in his musical righteousness. 

So, I did apologize and admit that he was allowed to be righteous, but the prick wouldn’t let it go, so that’s why I am still calling him that.  Well, anyways, I’m just saying I am most definitely not any kind of authority or remotely correct about a lot of things musical. 

Many of you may already be completely aware of what I am posting and think…”duh” but for the rest of us who read SPIN at their own leisure (like, 2-3 months past the month it comes out) and hate being wrong about little details that might make you feel stupid when arguing with a music snob. Granted, this Wailers/Melody Makers info isn’t any kind of rare, interesting or snobby data..

The following tidbits and Antony Hegarty wikipage are for YOU – you laid-back, easy-going, music-lover, you.  Let me know if you’re listening to him, I love his voice.

So I always (well for the past couple of years) thought that the sisters in CocoRosie had one with a lower voice that sounded mannish (I thought of her as the Coco, since Rosie seems more fem) and I always attributed the deep voice in the “Beautiful Boyz” song to the mannish one, Coco. This morning I was listening to the Joan as Police Woman REAL LIFE album and heard that voice again so I was like: cool! CocoRosie & Joan are in cahoots! I love it!

So, I looked it up and apparently this person is:

1. Not in CocoRosie, but does sing in “Beautiful Boyz”

2. Co-writer of the “I Defy” song (REAL LIFE)

3. And, uh, that mannish voice is…a man! (A man who has also sang with Rufus Wainright whose whole folk-singing family has a warm place in my heart.)

I also thought they were French, but they are American.  That isn’t that stupid of a mix up, though, the first album title is in French, so meh!  And they talk funny.

One more comment: I think Joan as Police Woman should collaborate with the Roots.  I would love to hear that.  Let’s make it happen, kids.

Behind Analysts, the Pentagon’s Hidden Hand – New York Times

Behind Analysts, the Pentagon’s Hidden Hand – New York Times
Hidden behind that appearance of objectivity, though, is a Pentagon information apparatus that has used those analysts in a campaign to generate favorable news coverage of the administration’s wartime performance, an examination by The New York Times has found.

Not exactly a big whopping surprise, but I am glad to read about this instead of another puff pastry stuffed with “objective” views from military analysts working as a mouthpiece for the government.

Don’t everybody like the smell of…bananas?

Bananas United Fruit | Salon Books

Great, great, great article.  Funny, scary, and sweet.
Bananas are scary, delicious, and comparable to OIL.
Reminds me of the time a good friend of mine, Lydia Hicks, said:

“Aw, Banana Republic…I really love how the name of the company reflects the tragedy of the country that Gap out sources their sweatshops to so they can make the clothes they sell in the store for cheap, cheap, cheap!”
(well, she said that in so many words..)

Great QUOTE from the article:
In some countries, United Fruit blatantly paid no taxes at all for decades. In others, when troubled by local officials, it simply installed a more sympathetic government.

(keywords: simply installed)

would also like to note the fascinating appearance of the Grandfather/Godfather/Father/King of PR, Mr. Edward Bernays, which, as some of you may know, was the nephew of none other than Sigmund Freud, and used many of his research in publicly relating to a LOT of people. (SEE: Adam Curtis documentary CENTURY OF THE SELF)

Deep breath, you can watch it for free on google video, I’m pretty sure of that, so do yourself a favor and get it in your head.

“One United Fruit P.R. man wrote a “report,” which he sent to 800 influential conservative Americans, sounding the alarm about communism gaining a foothold in Latin America via Guatemala. The company employed no lesser force than the father of public relations himself, Edward Bernays. Promptly, Bernays flew journalists to Guatemala on luxury “fact-finding” missions, which resulted in dozens of articles published in Time, Newsweek, the San Francisco Chronicle and the New York Times, portraying the Guatemalan leader as a dangerous threat.”