RSSSSEXUALITY: You probably wouldn’t have gotten that one if you weren’t a Hold Steady fan. Regardless, this website has an RSS feed! Plug the website’s address into your favorite reader, and BOOM. Instant updates.

THE BRIAN FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING: Jimmy’s Friday night interview with Tracy Morgan is one of the funniest things I’ve seen on Late Night TV save for a few of other (Letterman-Blago, Letterman-Phoenix, and the delightfully unhinged (and sort sad) Artie Lange interview on Conan). I don’t want to give too much away, but it involves Snuggies. Watch here.

PRIOR RESTRAINT: Jettisoned former Cub Mark Prior shows up in a new Yahoo Sports article by Jeff Passan. It discusses his pitching mechanics and how they likely contributed to his long DL streaks. Whatever opinion you have on the man with the biggest calves in baseball, It’s a very interesting read.

TO BRETT, OR NOT TO BRETT?: Sports Illustrated’s pesky “Truth and Rumors” page is reporting that the Packers are holding off on retiring the finally-retired QB’s legendary “4″ jersey. Why? The Packers president said both sides need “time”. Oh really? Please! He gave you guys 16 YEARS OF STRAIGHT STARTS WITHOUT MISSING A GAME, and two Super Bowl appearances, one of which was a win. That franchise would have been dead in the water without him. Or a lot more like my Bears. Usually maddeningly deficient, peppered with a few good seasons strung together.

FAILED TEST: Some sad news out of the pro wrestling world, as Andrew “Test” Martin was found dead in his Tampa apartment Friday night. For all intents and purposes, Martin was an able perfomer, kind of in the big-man mold of Kevin Nash. His Summerslam 1999 match vs. Shane McMahon is a Street Fight classic.

OMGZ NINETIES ROCK BITCHFEST: The Trent Reznor-Chris Cornell Twitter war is really funny. Loving the hair, Chris. 1998 called and they want it back.

ROCK (WITH OR WITHOUT) YOU:Is this Michael Jackson?I’m thinking MAYBE. AEG can’t insure tickets for his summer shows in London. Sounds like a big problem.

SPEAK TO ME/BREATHE: Have an opinion? Comment!

1. I am absolutely obsessed with Breakfast at Sulimay’s, a show were three retirees (of different levels of advanced age) review the latest Indie Rock tracks. I just caught this on Stereogum, but wanted to do a little bit more investigation. Of the hosts, Bill seems on the younger end of the spectrum. He’s kind of a dick though. Ann appears in the later episodes – I about lose it when she gets down with a Young Jeezy track, but by far my favorite is Joe Walker, an 84-year-old who legitimately seems open to music that’s way past his era. Check out here as he interviews one of the dudes from Mogwai. Okay, okay, also watch this one too, just to hear him say ‘Fuck Buttons’.

2. Just read the new Rolling Stone feature on their new album No Line On The Horizon. As I’ve said before, I’m pretty underwhelmed by the new disc, and the feature made them sound like a bunch of chuds. I suppose that after you hit a certain artistic point, there’s really no going back. It’s hard to believe they’ll make anything truly excellent from this point on.

3. I have yet to scope out the Cubs yet in Spring Training. All reports so far say that they’re doing well. I’m sure. I miss DeRosa and Wood, but I understand why they had to go. Besides, we can now expect some regular updates to the best Cubs website on the internet. Case in point:

…That means Larry Rothschild returns for his eighth season as Cubs’ pitching coach. He’s survived four managers, two GMs, Antonio Alfonseca and Will Ohman. After a nuclear blast the only thing left will be cockroaches doing towel drills with Larry.

3. Besides, with it being baseball season. I can finally wear this at Wrigley. Watch out, he’ll eat your babies if you anger him.

4. What do you know? Shaqtus.

5. Below is the trailer to the new Judd Apatow flick, Funny People. Due to his production company’s flood of movies, I can understand that people may have a little Judd fatigue. He kind of does what Kevin Smith is supposed to be doing – making a sweet but filthy movie that tugs at the heartstrings a bit. Smith does it, but it sort of turns out cartoony and unrealistic. Seriously? A Dance number in Clerks II? I’m a longtime Kevin fan, don’t get me wrong, but I find nothing wrong when Judd throws the gloss on. It makes for an enjoyable 90 minutes of my time.

I should be exercising my creativity elsewhere right now, but come on, this is too much fun.

1. I’m in the middle of a fantastic Rolling Stone feature by Mark Binelli called Motor City Breakdown. It’s largely about the failing American auto industry and how Detroit is basically a ghost town. Pretty sad. It sort of makes me think that this really has gone farther than a recession. We’re looking at a depression here. I still can’t believe it.

2. I was going to talk about how ironic I thought Al Roker Reports is, but instead, I want to show you his ridiculous website. Seriously, what year is it? 1998?

3. The Office Musical. That’s all that needs to be said.

4. I am surprised that I’m relatively indifferent to seeing Watchmen. It could be that I think that Zack Snyder is a shitty director. I loved the book. But I dunno. Something about it doesn’t really seem to work for me. The trailers don’t look good. It could end up surprising me.

5. I went to the Library this week. I’m rediscovering it after a several-month absence. First book on tap? Travels with Charley: In Search of America by John Steinbeck. I’m about ten pages in and already intrigued.

6. A co-worker of mine used 100 people and had them rehearse for 7 weeks to a song from “Enchanted” to propose to his fiancee. It’s pretty fantastic.

7. Dinosaur Jr. is playing Otto’s in DeKalb on April 11. I do want to see them. It would be pretty great.

8. Check out these fantastic John Agnello-shot pictures of us at Pitchfork Music Festival 2008. Wonderful day. Wonderful photos.

9. So, SI.com‘s rumors page is saying that Curt Schilling either wants to make a comeback with the Cubs or the Rays. I don’t agree with his politics, but he’s a pretty good pitcher…that has a knack for winning championships.

10. New U2 album? Yeah, thumbs DOWN.