First things first.

Me, January 2000

Look at that bowl cut! That ‘snowboarding’ jacket was also pretty sweet – despite the fact I never actually snowboarded. I was wearing my trusty grey fleece and Arizona (JCPenny brand) jeans there too. Looking stellar. Don’t those braces just break your heart?

That picture also reminded me of something else: it was taken nine years ago. That’s amazing to me. This year means it’s almost the end of the decade. The year 2000 also also reminds me that I was fourteen that year. What a terrible age. What a terrible haircut. What better way to commemorate it with some of my favorite tracks of the year 2000?

Away we goooo!!!

1. Metallica – Of Wolf And Man – Man oh man, did I love the Black Album. It took me years to realize that it indeed was not Metallica’s masterpiece, in fact, it’s a painfully overproduced record maximized for radio airplay. Regardless in the summer of ’00, this song spoke to me. Need convincing? Look at these lyrics.

I feel a change
Back to a better day
(shape shift)
Hair stands on the back of my neck
(shape shift)
In wildness is the preservation of the world

So seek the wolf in thyself

I was totally was seeking the wolf in thyself. That was a wild summer. Backyard wrestling and all. Powerful shit.

2. The Offspring – Dammit, I Changed Again – If you asked fourteen-year old me where true punk rock came from, I’d probably tell you it was Orange County. These guys played so fast, and with so much EARNESTNESS! So raw. Dexter Holland is hilarious. I want cornrows. I mean, I felt like I was a part of their songs. OMGZZZ.

3. Styx – Renegade

Me, 2009: Hey, fourteen year old me, who is the best guitar player in the world?
Me, 2000: DEFINITELY Tommy Shaw. Haven’t you heard “Renegade”? The intro is THE BOMB! Also, “Too Much Time On My Hands” is like, one of the greatest songs ever.
Me, 2009: You poor, pathetic little boy.

4. Ozzy Osbourne with Primus – N.I.B. – I can tell you with complete sincerity that I actually believed that this version was better than the Sabbath original. No. No. No. No! Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

5. Limp Bizkit ft. DMX, Redman and Method Man – Rollin’ (Urban Assault Vehicle) – A tried and true “classic” off of Limp Bizkit’s Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water, which I bought on the day of it’s release – October 17, 2000. Mike Roeser and I were so excited. I remember freaking out waiting outside of Best Buy for his mom to come and pick us up. All I wanted to do was get home and listen to it.

Best line? Meth’s “When these nuts hang, focus, it’s WU-TANG!” Also, this is a bonus track. I once made a music video using it. No, you may never, ever see it.

Live music has become one of the cornerstones of my life as I creep into my mid twenties. There’s been countless great shows I’ve been to over the years, and I could write several posts about how amazing they all were, but let’s be honest – that’s not always that fun. Instead, I’ll engage you with moments of my musical repentance.

Here’s some concert experiences that I’d want a do over.

February 20, 2003 – Phish. For the most part, these guys blow chunks. Before this current breakup and reformation, Phish was dormant from late 2000 to late 2002. This was their first tour back , and being a junior in high school, thinking that jam bands were totally where it was at for two months, I thought it would be cool to try and snap up GA tickets for their show at Allstate Arena. Somehow, I did, and managed to piss off all the hippies I went to school with. Example:

Like, come on mannn, I’ll totally give you a hundred bucks for those tickets. That version of “Chalkdust Torture” on A Live One is the best thing I’ve ever heard! Totally dude, like, I totally, like, love Puh-hish. I mean, come on man, do you even smoke?

I forgot to mention some of them were pissed of the mediocre review I gave Round Room in my high school’s newspaper earlier that winter.

My best friend Jordan, who probably got an even worse dressing-down than I did, was my companion for this gig. We spent the night making our way through a sea of patchouli, hemp necklaces with those cute little blown glass trinkets, and my personal favorite – fainting hippies. I was not impressed, but Jordan didn’t seem to mind. He was totally groovin’ his way through tried and true classics like “Gotta Jibboo”. Really?

May 16, 2005 – The Mars Volta at the Riveira Theater. The Riv is a shitty venue, with piss-poor sight lines. It didn’t help that I actually payed to see the kings of pretentious art-rock. What’s equally embarassing? This glowing review of Amputecture I wrote a year later. Humiliating. You want a new Floyd or King Crimson? Listen to these turds. I’ll pass. Thanks.

October 3, 2005 – Foozer tour at the Allstate Arena. It was a dream bill – two of my favorite bands at the time, Weezer and the Foo Fighters – playing together at one show at the premier suburban arena. If only I could remember it. Largely incapacitated due to some incredibly strong prescription medication, this is more just a collage of moments than what should have been one of the happiest moments of my life. I remember next to nothing of Weezer’s set, save for their cover of ‘Big Me’, and that the Foos opened with “In Your Honor” and “Cold Day In The Sun” was somewhere near the end of the set as I wandered around the arena. Also, if you ask the right person, apparently I wanted food at a a ‘sit down place’, despite not having any money. I do not recall this.

August 6, 2006 – Missing the entire 17-member lineup of Broken Social Scene at Lollapalooza 2006 for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Lolla ’06 was my inaugural festival experience, and I was still figuring out the ropes of how it all worked. I realized that you can’t see everyone you want, no matter how hard you try. So, I opted to see the Chilis, a group I had been “totally jamming to” since the summer of 2000. The show was alright, from what I remember, but because of the steel toe boot to the head from an errant crowdsurfer things are sort of fuzzy. According to my friend (and fellow obviate-er) Evan Thorne, who attended the show with me, he heard the THUD of when the boot kicked me in the head, and then turned around to see me down. I remember still feeling like i had control in my feet, but it was just easier to fall. I think I got pulled out of that one during the encore.

October 31, 2007 – Shouting “YEAH!” very loudly in a quiet room after Craig Finn explained before the live debut of “Lord, I’m Discouraged” that it was a “sad song”. Man, talk about a buzzkill. The dude next to me patted me on the shoulder and said “nice job” as I sunk my head into my shoulders. Ouch.