First things first.

Me, January 2000

Look at that bowl cut! That ‘snowboarding’ jacket was also pretty sweet – despite the fact I never actually snowboarded. I was wearing my trusty grey fleece and Arizona (JCPenny brand) jeans there too. Looking stellar. Don’t those braces just break your heart?

That picture also reminded me of something else: it was taken nine years ago. That’s amazing to me. This year means it’s almost the end of the decade. The year 2000 also also reminds me that I was fourteen that year. What a terrible age. What a terrible haircut. What better way to commemorate it with some of my favorite tracks of the year 2000?

Away we goooo!!!

1. Metallica – Of Wolf And Man – Man oh man, did I love the Black Album. It took me years to realize that it indeed was not Metallica’s masterpiece, in fact, it’s a painfully overproduced record maximized for radio airplay. Regardless in the summer of ’00, this song spoke to me. Need convincing? Look at these lyrics.

I feel a change
Back to a better day
(shape shift)
Hair stands on the back of my neck
(shape shift)
In wildness is the preservation of the world

So seek the wolf in thyself

I was totally was seeking the wolf in thyself. That was a wild summer. Backyard wrestling and all. Powerful shit.

2. The Offspring – Dammit, I Changed Again – If you asked fourteen-year old me where true punk rock came from, I’d probably tell you it was Orange County. These guys played so fast, and with so much EARNESTNESS! So raw. Dexter Holland is hilarious. I want cornrows. I mean, I felt like I was a part of their songs. OMGZZZ.

3. Styx – Renegade

Me, 2009: Hey, fourteen year old me, who is the best guitar player in the world?
Me, 2000: DEFINITELY Tommy Shaw. Haven’t you heard “Renegade”? The intro is THE BOMB! Also, “Too Much Time On My Hands” is like, one of the greatest songs ever.
Me, 2009: You poor, pathetic little boy.

4. Ozzy Osbourne with Primus – N.I.B. – I can tell you with complete sincerity that I actually believed that this version was better than the Sabbath original. No. No. No. No! Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

5. Limp Bizkit ft. DMX, Redman and Method Man – Rollin’ (Urban Assault Vehicle) – A tried and true “classic” off of Limp Bizkit’s Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water, which I bought on the day of it’s release – October 17, 2000. Mike Roeser and I were so excited. I remember freaking out waiting outside of Best Buy for his mom to come and pick us up. All I wanted to do was get home and listen to it.

Best line? Meth’s “When these nuts hang, focus, it’s WU-TANG!” Also, this is a bonus track. I once made a music video using it. No, you may never, ever see it.

In the fall of 2004, I started my freshman year of college at Northern Illinois University. I wasn’t a big fan of it – I missed my friends and I wanted to be at home – so every weekend, I went home. During this time, I talked to a bunch of friends back at home into starting a band. I thought it would be fun since I sort of ham-handedly played guitar, and it would be cool to get something together that sounded like my favorite band at the time – Broken Social Scene. So I did what any other eighteen year old at the time would have done. Formed a band.

Dos Ambuli began in late 2004 as the marriage between two types of people: those with musical talent, and those that didn’t. I was in the latter. The musicians of the group of the group were patient – our drummer and multi-instrumentalist tirelessly coached us through songs we tried to put together. I insisted we recorded every jam session. We eventually were able to put together one song called “Small Victory”, which, very succinctly was just that. We then decided to work on some other songs sketches in the following weeks. Near Thanksgiving 2004, however, our practices collapsed and the songs were shelved.

Then, in the summer of 2005, vocalists Brandon Polcik and Kelsey Pierson along with myself had decided to revisit the project with the use of Apple’s GarageBand software. Through one marathon session one evening, we churned out several songs in the program. Again, we shelved these to use at a later time.

In August of that year, Brandon and I re-convened to record more with multi-instrumentalist Keith Pitner and Zach Golden on what would be our finest achievement: the song called “I’m a Baby Dinosaur”. Written by Brandon and friend Chris Lindsey, the song one minute and forty one seconds of pop excellence, chronicling a baby dinosaur that loves watching porn. (We did a couple other songs that day, but seriously, nothing really compares.)

The song caught fire locally, mainly with high school students, leading me to be recognized at Target as the guy in the band that did “the baby dinosaur song”. Awesome.

Anyways, near the end of 2005, I sat down with the recordings and organized them to create our magnum opus, Poop In A Boot, based on a drawing made by Brandon.

So, mere days after I completed my college career, I wanted to share Dos Ambuli with the rest of you.

This is our sprawling avant-punk, twee-pop, indie rock, outsider music classic. Enjoy it. Share it with your friends.

Or just post in the comments about how shitty it was.

Dos Ambuli – Poop In A Boot (2005) (104.3 MB)

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Dos Ambuli is:

Brandon Polcik – Vocals
Kelsey Pierson – Vocals
Brendan Hilliard – Guitar, Background Vocals
Keith Pitner – Keyboard, Trombone, Random other instruments
Luke Mycyk – Bass
Andy Soderstrom – Drums