RSSSSEXUALITY: You probably wouldn’t have gotten that one if you weren’t a Hold Steady fan. Regardless, this website has an RSS feed! Plug the website’s address into your favorite reader, and BOOM. Instant updates.

THE BRIAN FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING: Jimmy’s Friday night interview with Tracy Morgan is one of the funniest things I’ve seen on Late Night TV save for a few of other (Letterman-Blago, Letterman-Phoenix, and the delightfully unhinged (and sort sad) Artie Lange interview on Conan). I don’t want to give too much away, but it involves Snuggies. Watch here.

PRIOR RESTRAINT: Jettisoned former Cub Mark Prior shows up in a new Yahoo Sports article by Jeff Passan. It discusses his pitching mechanics and how they likely contributed to his long DL streaks. Whatever opinion you have on the man with the biggest calves in baseball, It’s a very interesting read.

TO BRETT, OR NOT TO BRETT?: Sports Illustrated’s pesky “Truth and Rumors” page is reporting that the Packers are holding off on retiring the finally-retired QB’s legendary “4″ jersey. Why? The Packers president said both sides need “time”. Oh really? Please! He gave you guys 16 YEARS OF STRAIGHT STARTS WITHOUT MISSING A GAME, and two Super Bowl appearances, one of which was a win. That franchise would have been dead in the water without him. Or a lot more like my Bears. Usually maddeningly deficient, peppered with a few good seasons strung together.

FAILED TEST: Some sad news out of the pro wrestling world, as Andrew “Test” Martin was found dead in his Tampa apartment Friday night. For all intents and purposes, Martin was an able perfomer, kind of in the big-man mold of Kevin Nash. His Summerslam 1999 match vs. Shane McMahon is a Street Fight classic.

OMGZ NINETIES ROCK BITCHFEST: The Trent Reznor-Chris Cornell Twitter war is really funny. Loving the hair, Chris. 1998 called and they want it back.

ROCK (WITH OR WITHOUT) YOU:Is this Michael Jackson?I’m thinking MAYBE. AEG can’t insure tickets for his summer shows in London. Sounds like a big problem.

SPEAK TO ME/BREATHE: Have an opinion? Comment!

I should be exercising my creativity elsewhere right now, but come on, this is too much fun.

1. I’m in the middle of a fantastic Rolling Stone feature by Mark Binelli called Motor City Breakdown. It’s largely about the failing American auto industry and how Detroit is basically a ghost town. Pretty sad. It sort of makes me think that this really has gone farther than a recession. We’re looking at a depression here. I still can’t believe it.

2. I was going to talk about how ironic I thought Al Roker Reports is, but instead, I want to show you his ridiculous website. Seriously, what year is it? 1998?

3. The Office Musical. That’s all that needs to be said.

4. I am surprised that I’m relatively indifferent to seeing Watchmen. It could be that I think that Zack Snyder is a shitty director. I loved the book. But I dunno. Something about it doesn’t really seem to work for me. The trailers don’t look good. It could end up surprising me.

5. I went to the Library this week. I’m rediscovering it after a several-month absence. First book on tap? Travels with Charley: In Search of America by John Steinbeck. I’m about ten pages in and already intrigued.

6. A co-worker of mine used 100 people and had them rehearse for 7 weeks to a song from “Enchanted” to propose to his fiancee. It’s pretty fantastic.

7. Dinosaur Jr. is playing Otto’s in DeKalb on April 11. I do want to see them. It would be pretty great.

8. Check out these fantastic John Agnello-shot pictures of us at Pitchfork Music Festival 2008. Wonderful day. Wonderful photos.

9. So, SI.com‘s rumors page is saying that Curt Schilling either wants to make a comeback with the Cubs or the Rays. I don’t agree with his politics, but he’s a pretty good pitcher…that has a knack for winning championships.

10. New U2 album? Yeah, thumbs DOWN.

1. I started writing for Static Multimedia as an intern. So far, they’ve posted two of my reviews, one on an album by the Miniature Tigers and another by a rapper named Savage.

2. Spinning Tonight: Franz Ferdinand. Their shift in sound was an attractive move, but the results I’m not too interested in.

3. I’m very proud and very excited to announce that the new Hold Steady website was launched today! Yours truly acted as project manager. However, that pales in comparison to Mike Ross and Jersey Mike for designing and necessitating this whole project.

4. BLAGOMANIA IS STILL RUNNING WILD!!! (on Letterman)

5. After watching Katie Couric’s Grammy Special, I’m convinced that Katy Perry is an idiot.

6. The AP is alleging that Shepard Fairey’s iconic Obama poster violates copyright infringement.

7. I changed the site’s Twitter page design to reflect what it looks like on this site. Fun, AND it matches. Wheee.

8. The Hold Steady’s cover of Bruce Springsteen’s classic Atlantic City is up (albeit, likely illegally) on YouTube. I’m absolutely biased, but it’s a definite reinvention of the original. The solo is rippin’. I’m loving the horns too.

9. On that note, I very badly want to see Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band at the United Center on May 12.

10. Flipping through channels…Crispin Glover and Sam Rockwell were in Charlie’s Angels? Really?

Live music has become one of the cornerstones of my life as I creep into my mid twenties. There’s been countless great shows I’ve been to over the years, and I could write several posts about how amazing they all were, but let’s be honest – that’s not always that fun. Instead, I’ll engage you with moments of my musical repentance.

Here’s some concert experiences that I’d want a do over.

February 20, 2003 – Phish. For the most part, these guys blow chunks. Before this current breakup and reformation, Phish was dormant from late 2000 to late 2002. This was their first tour back , and being a junior in high school, thinking that jam bands were totally where it was at for two months, I thought it would be cool to try and snap up GA tickets for their show at Allstate Arena. Somehow, I did, and managed to piss off all the hippies I went to school with. Example:

Like, come on mannn, I’ll totally give you a hundred bucks for those tickets. That version of “Chalkdust Torture” on A Live One is the best thing I’ve ever heard! Totally dude, like, I totally, like, love Puh-hish. I mean, come on man, do you even smoke?

I forgot to mention some of them were pissed of the mediocre review I gave Round Room in my high school’s newspaper earlier that winter.

My best friend Jordan, who probably got an even worse dressing-down than I did, was my companion for this gig. We spent the night making our way through a sea of patchouli, hemp necklaces with those cute little blown glass trinkets, and my personal favorite – fainting hippies. I was not impressed, but Jordan didn’t seem to mind. He was totally groovin’ his way through tried and true classics like “Gotta Jibboo”. Really?

May 16, 2005 – The Mars Volta at the Riveira Theater. The Riv is a shitty venue, with piss-poor sight lines. It didn’t help that I actually payed to see the kings of pretentious art-rock. What’s equally embarassing? This glowing review of Amputecture I wrote a year later. Humiliating. You want a new Floyd or King Crimson? Listen to these turds. I’ll pass. Thanks.

October 3, 2005 – Foozer tour at the Allstate Arena. It was a dream bill – two of my favorite bands at the time, Weezer and the Foo Fighters – playing together at one show at the premier suburban arena. If only I could remember it. Largely incapacitated due to some incredibly strong prescription medication, this is more just a collage of moments than what should have been one of the happiest moments of my life. I remember next to nothing of Weezer’s set, save for their cover of ‘Big Me’, and that the Foos opened with “In Your Honor” and “Cold Day In The Sun” was somewhere near the end of the set as I wandered around the arena. Also, if you ask the right person, apparently I wanted food at a a ‘sit down place’, despite not having any money. I do not recall this.

August 6, 2006 – Missing the entire 17-member lineup of Broken Social Scene at Lollapalooza 2006 for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Lolla ’06 was my inaugural festival experience, and I was still figuring out the ropes of how it all worked. I realized that you can’t see everyone you want, no matter how hard you try. So, I opted to see the Chilis, a group I had been “totally jamming to” since the summer of 2000. The show was alright, from what I remember, but because of the steel toe boot to the head from an errant crowdsurfer things are sort of fuzzy. According to my friend (and fellow obviate-er) Evan Thorne, who attended the show with me, he heard the THUD of when the boot kicked me in the head, and then turned around to see me down. I remember still feeling like i had control in my feet, but it was just easier to fall. I think I got pulled out of that one during the encore.

October 31, 2007 – Shouting “YEAH!” very loudly in a quiet room after Craig Finn explained before the live debut of “Lord, I’m Discouraged” that it was a “sad song”. Man, talk about a buzzkill. The dude next to me patted me on the shoulder and said “nice job” as I sunk my head into my shoulders. Ouch.

Talking to my buddy Mike Ross tonight, and he said something about The Hold Steady that was just about perfect. All of you that haven’t had it drilled into your head yet by me (and other detractors), read this, and then give em another spin. Perfect.

“The Hold Steady. They’ve been described as sounding like AC/DC being fronted by a drunk English Lit professor… if you like Springsteen, Thin Lizzy, or the first couple of Led Zep records and don’t mind a very verbose guy rattling off the wildest sort of hard-partying and even harder day-after-partying stories you’ve ever heard, you might want to check them out. They made me believe in rock and roll again.”

Goddamn.

Spin “Stuck Between Stations” here. (via The Hype Machine)

Also, the offer still stands. See them live. With me….Even if you don’t get converted tonight, you gotta admit that the band’s pretty tight.